The Silence That Follows
by Tiny Wolverine
Summary: The one thing she wants she will never have.   one-sided CloTi; Claerith; post ACC


**The Silence That Follows**

For children, life was so easy. You just had to ask, all cute and everything, and you can get. If the adult was completely smitten with the child, then they would probably get twice what they wanted. An example of this was Barret and Marlene. All Marlene had to do was say 'Daddy, I want a lolly', and smile at him, and Barret would get her two.

It was bad for her, he had said to Tifa, but how could he resist his little girl's smile?

Smiling to herself, Tifa Lockhart put away the last glass in the cupboard and dried her hands on the towel before sighing.

She wished she was a child again. It would definitely be easier to talk to Cloud – she'd been pretty fearless as a kid, her motto being 'do or die'. It would be far easier as a child to tell him the three words she had wanted to say since getting him to join AVALANCHE. Always, when she had gathered her nerves, the words on the tip of her tongue, something would happen to stop her.

First, it had been Barret, barrelling in to say that they were on another mission.

Then, it was Jessie, flirting with Cloud. The sight of it had made Tifa's blood boil, but she had calmed herself, reminding herself that Cloud was not hers. Not yet.

And then, it was Aerith. Pretty Aerith, sweet Aerith – perfect in every way. When Tifa saw how the two had reacted with each other, she had lost all hope that Cloud could ever become hers. Cloud always opened up more around her, and when she'd been killed, he'd shut himself firmly in his own body, speaking only when spoken to, moving like a dead man. If he had been nonresponsive before, he became even more so now – he never even answered his phone, for Goddess's sake!

No matter how much attention she'd given him, no matter how much concern she'd shown, he had remained a living statue, absorbed in his thoughts.

The sound of a motorcycle started softly, and slowly became louder as Cloud drew nearer to the bar.

Tifa held her breath. He was early today.

Did that mean that he knew what day it was today? She

She heard him park, heard the jangle of keys as he locked the bike, and heard his footsteps coming up the bar steps. She heard the small pause as he hesitated on the doorstep, as she'd known he would, and then finally, after a long moment, the sound of the door handle turning.

Cloud entered the bar, looking around with a strange expression on his face as though surprised to find it empty. Tifa turned and smiled. "Hi Cloud. You're early."

He nodded briefly. "Where are the kids?"

"In school." He nodded once. She studied his face. He looked detached again – Tifa sighed inwardly. She should be used to his expressions by now – or rather, lack of – but she knew that when he was looking that way, he was thinking of Aerith.

She forced a smile on her face. "Were you down at the Forgotten City again?" she asked in what she hoped was a light tone as she turned away to fix her attention on the dirty dishes. As she waited for Cloud to answer, she started soaping the dishes. When that was done, and he'd still said nothing, she prompted him with, "Anything new?"

Dear Cloud, so shy all the time. If she hadn't already, she would've fallen for him then and there. He was so sweet and so cute – she wanted to hug him tightly and promise him nothing bad would ever happen again.

_But... that's not my job, is it? _

Aerith. It was always Aerith's.

The sound of wood creaking drew Tifa out of her thoughts; she blinked. Cloud hesitated, as if thinking of how to phrase his next words. And then he spoke, really softly, really gently, "Tifa..."

That wasn't the tone she was hoping for. She had wanted light and easy. That was anything but. She turned around, suds dripping on the floor. "What's up, Cloud?"

"I got your letter while I was in Kalm."

_Letter? What letter?_

"I'm... I'm really sorry I had to tell you this today, but..."

_This is going to be bad, isn't it? Really, really bad. And what letter is he talking about? _Tifa turned around and turned the tap on to rinse the suds out of the dishes, her body tensed.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, in a slightly stronger tone. "But I... don't think of you that way anymore."

His words were confusing at first, but then she realized – _someone had sent a letter to Cloud of her feelings for him. But who would do it? Why would that person- wait._

Yuffie was so going down.

"I'm so sorry, Tifa," Cloud repeated. She heard the floor creak again as though he was walking – but to her or away from her?

She got her answer when, in her next breath, she inhaled the scent of man – and his cologne. The one Aerith had gotten for him. "Tifa?"

That was the final straw. She shook her head and whispered, "Please just go."

"What?" he sounded surprised, as though he hadn't expected this reaction of her. What reaction, exactly, does a man expect of a woman who, albeit through a friend, had told him she'd loved him for almost all her life? (Almost, because of the time when she'd realized she had a crush on the great Sephiroth. But that's another story) Maybe he expects her to be completely mature, and say 'oh yes, Cloud, I understand because you were in love with a dead Cetra bitch who's so perfect in every way that it's almost impossible to compete with her and so completely nice that it's impossible for me to hate her!'

No, that wasn't nice. Aerith was her best friend – Tifa herself loved her. Maybe she was jealous of their relationship or something, but Tifa had no right to call her a bitch.

The brunette bit down hard on her lip, squeezing the tears back.

"Just go!" she repeated, more forcefully – her voice cracked at the end. When Cloud didn't move, she took her own advice. Spinning around in a move that caused Cloud to step back, she darted past him, up the stairs, and into the confines of her own room. Only once the door was shut (slammed), and locked (almost broken by her strength), and she was on her bed did she let the tears flow.

Through her pillow, she heard footsteps coming up after her. _Why isn't he going?_ She had told him to leave! Didn't he understand?

He knocked on her door. "Tifa."

She sniffed and buried her face in her pillow.

"Tifa, open up."

"Go _away,_ please, Cloud." Her tone was bordering on pleading – the next thing she knew, she'd be on her knees, begging him to please leave her the fuck alone.

There was a silence – dare she hope that he had gone? But no, she hadn't heard his footsteps going down the stairs and out the door.

He was still out there.

There was a heavy sigh from the other side of her door; it creaked as though Cloud was leaning against it.

"I'm sorry, Teef..."

That would be the umpteenth time he'd apologized.

"I... I _want_ to feel the way you do, but... I _can't_. I..." He was clamming up, the way he usually did when feeling shy or confused. "I won't say anything about this again."

More tears slid from her eyes and soaked into the pillow. She hugged it closer to herself, squeezing her eyes shut as another silent sob racked her body.

"I didn't know you would react this way... I thought the letter was a joke or... or something, and that you would be happy. But I guess I'm wrong."

Damn right he was.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. The door creaked again, as though he was getting up. There was a long pause, and then the rustle of paper, followed by the sound of something being put on the floor.

More silence.

And then...

"Happy birthday, Teef."

The sound of footsteps retreating down the stairs rang in Tifa's ears, and the sound of the front door closing followed.

He was gone.

* * *

**BIG SNIFF**

**It's so sad that my own fic's making me cry.**

**I'm honest. I haven't written angst in so long that I'm getting sensitised again. **

**But oh it feels SO GOOD to be able to write again! With luck, Eclipse will be up by Saturday, and the rest soon after.**

**I'm sorry for the disappearance – I've had a lot of videos to make D:**

**Before you ask, the title was completely random. 'Shattered' by Trading Yesterday was playing that line on iTunes, and I just picked it out. **

**This was going to be a oneshot, but if the response is good, and if I'm bothered enough, I'll make it a short story. Because honestly, there IS another part to this, but I thought it ended well where it was.**

**Please review :3**


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